The Pitfalls of Volunteer Work

Just a few months before my debut solo show and I have decided to give a few of my precious days to volunteer work. Something that an artist myself who should be focusing on her artworks bothered to do for the goodness of mankind, of my people, Buddhism, and my country. If only in very little amount.

Volunteer work is of course, not for everyone. Especially in a country where working in itself is such great labor that having a job that is stable is nothing short of a blessing. I, on the other hand after living in a temple thought that I could do some good deeds by providing my talents.

Volunteer work makes a lot of people happy, because if you are not going to be paid for it, your mind better be strong enough to handle every setback, and still feel this sort of contentment and satisfaction at the end of the day.

Currently, I am volunteering for a temple that has the ambition to provide free education for everyone, which is of course a great thing. Now that it’s going to begin the college this month of June, there are a lot of things that hasn’t been straightened out first.

A lot of things are slow and now that I’m inside it, I finally see why. It is not because they are shorthanded and or there are not enough volunteers. I could see that there are little things that can be done by the already available people in it to work on and yet no one acts on it.

I help out when I can. They have a nice and spacious gallery and yet, Manila doesn’t know it exists and they are not really doing much about it as long as they reach a handful, it is enough. The potential of having a higher reach is not achieved because maybe they are content of the people who are coming in. I was invited by the one managing the gallery to provide a few of my artworks and sell it during an on-going exhibit. So I made works that are related to the gallery’s theme, like the face of the Buddha and an abstract representation of a lotus. Apparently, what was demanded of me after submitting the artwork was common and recognizable images of the lotus flower. Not only was it demanded of me, but when I gave my price for the artworks, I was also told that it would not sell because the price is high.

In all honesty, the price is 50% off since it is a non-profit institution and does not add any commission and what is left is nothing but my plain artist price, the lowest I could provide without tarnishing my reputation and hopefully not offending those who bought my works at its normal prices, which includes gallery commissions. I should be insulted because it was really quite a hassle to provide the artworks when I could have spent those lost days working on my solo show collection, then be told it will not sell. I simply explained that I couldn’t change the price because I have a standard price that I follow that is equivalent to my reputation as an artist, that it is okay that it won’t sell but didn’t really say that I already know it won’t because there is no real market or collectors visiting the gallery.

I just got my pieces back and I’m happy I got it back because I could sell it in other places. I merely waited for the time to pass and look at the events as mere flows and drama that I shouldn’t get too attached to. That the reality of the world outside and inside the temple may provide different meanings to my career as an artist but are both essentially empty and illusory in Buddhist views.

For the next ten days, I am giving my time to the temple but the problem is that the people in the temple don’t know how to manage time and the volunteer’s time. Yesterday, I have spent the whole day waiting for the task and since none came, I just decided to catch up on 80s and 90s movies like “Say Anything” and “Clueless”.

I designed the cover for the student handbook and I was told the layout of the content as well. I waited for the content that I will layout and none came. It wasn’t quite a productive day for me though I had fun watching movies but I just feel that I could really help and that are not tapping the time available I am providing them because I won’t be there all the time. Today, I decided to just go and buy materials for my artworks and stay at a friend’s house to bake some cookies and cook lovely vegetarian burgers.

I have left word that should there be any work to be done, to email me and I shall do it and submit at the end of the day.

I do believe that there is quite a language barrier to some and to make matters worse, there is also a lack of communication among volunteers.

I talked to one of the volunteers on how I think that people working in the are content with mediocrity and that they are not pushing for the full potential when the temple and its resources can actually reach so much. The volunteer answered by saying that it may not be mediocrity, it may be incapacity on their end to provide better results and not the satisfaction for mediocrity.

I saw how unorganized the system is and is quite a struggle to provide great work in. There was also a minor thing that irked me at the beginning because volunteers we’re provided a quarter to stay in but there was a lack in electric fans and we were not provided with any. The evenings were hot and it is quite hard to get some sleep and I bugged almost everyone about the fan where one of the volunteer’s said let the temple worry about it and that I shouldn’t worry about it.

So I decided to follow the volunteer’s advice, but nothing happened. There was still no electric fan, I tried not to complain and get some sleep but couldn’t.

When the volunteer who told me not to worry about it came to the quarters, she couldn’t care for a bit whether I could get some shut eye or not. I had to borrow a fan from the outside in order to get some comfort. I wonder how these people look at volunteers, like slaves?

That being a volunteer one should prepare to give time and money in the process. Maybe I still haven’t understood this Bodhisattva thing and I am only here willing to help what I could and I wonder if it’s too much to ask for a comfortable sleep at night for payment. Am I wrong to think that people should help the help that they receive, because this is a give and take situation. I thought that we all volunteer and help one another for a common goal, that we would like to achieve full potential that can provide and strong foundation for free education in the Philippines. Yet, the reality of how things were, are not that ideal because not all of us believe the same.

In the world of volunteer work, when everyone is there for the intention of goodness and sacrificing one’s time, the skill available of these people aren’t always excellent in levels. Often it falls under mediocrity and certain incapacities. People think what they are doing is good enough because an excellent work doesn’t equal a greater individual reward, they forget that great effort exerted will result not in high-payment or recognition but actually the goodness and welfare of the many that needs it. People are still trapped in this egoistic shell that prevents them from doing a better work than they are currently offering. It seemed that some of them are merely doing those things haphazardly because they were placed in that position without the talent to account for.

It was more on circumstance than the will, ability, and spirit.

People also working in such an environment have no recourse but patience and tolerance.

Reflect the Moon on a Calm Lake: HALA

"I am the reflection of the moon on the lake, if you see me trying to be good then you see yourself."

Dalai Lama

Kundun

A new batch of brave souls are going to stay in the Temple for three to four months for Philippine Fo Guang Shan's Humanistic Academy of Life and Arts 佛光山菲鲁宾人间学院.
It takes a lot of courage to submit oneself to a temple stay that would last for three months without any inclination of what is going to happen and how it's going to begin and end. I know I had my doubts especially on the day I came to the temple on a stormy weather and as I tread on almost two feet of flood riding my bike carrying an 8 kilo backpack while holding an umbrella, the wind blew hard, and my clothes were wet. I could barely see the road and hoped that I wouldn't end up in a huge pot hole and injure myself.

However, I was determined to go through it and I didn't allow any storm to hold me back. To my other classmates, they had to cross continents and mull over the fact that they are going to live in a developing country to find enlightenment, gain new experiences, shave their heads (If you feel the need to shave your head, it's okay. It's your practice. But it will not make you a monk and the nuns will remind you of that if ever you did, it also doesn't guarantee enlightenment. It's a warm country, you need the extra breeze to cool the head.)

There is humility in joining these sort of programs as one has to admit and be willing to learn new things, new culture, meet strangers, and other unexpected things. 

This is not for cowards who are afraid to leave their current world for something they don't understand, nor is it a walk in the park, and it can be considered a 'leap of faith' but I prefer "jumping into the abyss" a completely secluded world I barely knew existed in my mother land. But there it was, I found it and I made a choice.

For the new HALA students who are excited or anxious or whatever emotion they are going through about the program, it is an experience that has various results to different people. I'm not going to say that it's beautiful or ugly, or worth it or not, nor would I say that it's good or bad. Despite being in a group, it is still a very personal experience. It is exactly how one choose to see it, how one choose to experience it.

It is exactly as it is. The definitions, emotions, learning, are merely relative to a person.

It is as life changing as one would allow it. As meaningful as one wants it to be. 

But there is one thing that is sure, water is now offered to the one who thirst. 

It is now a matter of choosing to drink it whether it's in a bowl or a glass or a mug or in a container that we like or we don't like.

In the end the essence is the same. The opportunity is here to acquire it and make use of the time given efficiently. Because the answer to the question is always right in front of us. It is always within reach.

It is always a matter of choice. Choose.

At ease in a strange land

Taiwan is a small but nice country just north of the Philippines and its weather is almost the same in the southern part but since the Fo Guang Shan Monastery in Kaoshiung occupies 5 mountains, the weather is substantially cooler than in my homeland. 

I arrived at the Taoyuan airport in Taipei past midnight ten days ago and slept on the rented bus provided by the monastery towards Kaoshiung which is around 4 hours drive from Taipei and I slept throughout the ride. Upon arriving at the monastery, I witnessed my very first sunrise in this foreign land. The sun is less fierce than in the Philippines and it's cooler in the evening.

Taiwan is an independent country according to its people but the Republic of China begs to differ. The number of temples in Taiwan is countless as more and more temples are built while others expand further but one of the most grandeur temples are from the Humanistic Buddhism Fo Guang Shan Order. 

Currently I'm staying in Tsung Lin Buddhist University in their head monastery. I find life here comfortable despite the strict routine system. The program includes lectures, volunteer work, workshops on vegetarian cooking, numerous ceremonies and rituals, sutra calligraphy, and my free time is spent sight seeing in areas available or at the very least explorable without having to spend money. The program is a bit different from the program we have in Mabuhay Temple back in the Philippines. 

The program I'm in seeks to provide ordinary people a peek to the lives of monastics and their system with which they spread the Dharma teachings as discoursed by Buddha. Fo Guang Shan follows Mahayana Buddhism and has hundreds of  temples across the world. 

Amitabha Buddha, the biggest Buddha in Taiwan at FGS Kaoshiung.

Next week, we will visit several branch temples in the northern part of Taiwan. I've been with temple for approximately two months. I have left my family and let go of responsibilities for this opportunity. I haven't seen any of my friends for a long time and I could say that it is a sort of trade off to be here. 

I can't go online often since we have too many things to do. 

I have embraced this sort of mundane living for now. I'm not sorry and would even believe that it provides a wonderful experience for all of us in the program. I'm not too eager to comeback.